And this is the school that the kids went to and where Pater taught maths.
Muv didnt have a job she was a hausefrau.
They had a little car with the driving bits on the wrong side because they drive on the otherside of the road in Germany.
This is Muvs story of learning to drive. there are no pictures so you will have to use your imgination. This was written by Muv in the third person . The dairy is the place they used to go where they would get milk and stuff. It was full of cows and it smelled awful.
Dear Victims,
I think I need a job.
See what happens when one has time. I start German lesson in
September. I start to help at school soon. I start to explore junk
shops this week.
I have started baking
bread and bikkies. But I am happy and so are the kids. And Luke.
Love LEE
Lees first and
only drive in Germany so far.
A terrorizing
experience for Germany
“Don’t Mum its too
much too soon!”
“Kids, life is a
series of challenges to be met and I’m going to meet this one head
on. Well not literally”.
“The cars not insured
yet.” Said Luke
“But Mum are you
sure?”
“Kids, I have to practice what I PREACH”
“The cars not insured
yet.” Said Luke
“Mum can you really
do it?”
“Well I think I will
because I will give it my best.”
“The cars not insured
yet.” Said Luke
“I will rise to the
challenge and go forward (and maybe backward if need be).”
“You’re a ledge
Mum!”
“ No kids just a
humble driver (about to drive on the other side of the road with no
insurance): See kids how can I expect you to risk if I don’t risk
myself.”
“And the car isn’t
insured yet!”
“I have to set an
example.”
“How about the
example of responsibility. The cars not insured yet.” He
whispered through clenched teeth.
“Details, details,
details! Never let those little things get in the way of the big
picture, the big goal!”
“I give up”. Luke
threw his arms in the air as he looked to heaven. No miracles there.
“Well I wont.”
“ Can we come Mum so
we can see the airbags work?”
“No kids this is a
solo job.”
And so was the start of
Lee’s first drive.
Armed with the keys, a
crash helmet and a sweatband around her head Lee, stepped out of the
door nervous but excited of the challenge that lay ahead. Her
philosophy of life “ like a postman’s leg and I am the bull
terrier that won’t let go” geared her for the task.
“Its not the wrong
side of the road, it’s the other side of the road.” she kept
reminding herself. It’s all about creating new neural pathways.
She felt like Maria
about to meet the Von Trapp kids and she sung the song, much to the
agony of the neighbours.
“ I have
confidence”. Well she only sang the first line, as it isn’t that
far from the house to the car park.
She opened the door and
jumped in confidently.
“Shit!” she
muttered
She jumped out.
“Glad Luke didn’t
see that.”
She was on the wrong
side of the car.
She jumped in the other
side.
“Whew don’t know
what I would’ve done if the steering well hadn’t of been here
either.” she thought with relief.
Keys in the ignition.
Gear in Park.
Engines on.
Couldn’t hear a
thing.
“Oh, forgot newer
car, quieter engine.”
Put it in reverse.
Looked over wrong
shoulder.
Looked over other
shoulder and went backwards.
The car came too.
Success!
To the end of the
driveway.
Three meters. So far so
good.
Left turn. Like
Australian right turn.
Either way Lee and the
steering wheel were suppose to be in the middle of the street.
And lift off.
“Have to turn left”
she thought.
Put blinker on.
Turn off windscreen
wiper.
Try blinker this time.
Success!
Drive 200 meters to
dairy.
Only passed one parked
car.
No casualties.
Pull into drive way.
Stop. get out.
Hoorah! .
Get out of car.
Hold breath.
Try not to smell cow
poo and wee.
Eyes watering. Breathe
out.
Try to breathe in
without smelling the air.
Almost choke in
process.
Run to Dairy shop.
Smile at the farmers
Mrs.
Say “Guten
Tag”
Give smile and try not
to breathe.
Give up holding breath
before passing out.
Fill up bottles from
bucket.
Go back to car.
Jump in car.
“Shit!”
Jump out.
Wrong side.
Jump in other side.
Feeling confident.
Engine on.
Thunderbirds are go.
Reverse.
Miss the farmers wife.
Wrong shoulder.
Windscreen wipers on.
Windscreen wipers off.
Blinkers on.
Right turn.
Cruising!
But WAIT!
GASP!
A car approaching.
Don’t panic, don’t
panic.
PANIC.
Pull over side of road.
Phew!
Breathe deep.
Gag.
Still too close to the
dairy.
Blinker on.
Windscreen wiper off.
Blinker on,.
Speed 20km hour until
home.
Arrive home safe and
with clean windscreen.
Milk intact.
Hop out.
Strut in
“How was it”
“ Breeze”
“ Good onya Mum”
“The car still isn’t
insured.”
“I know. I´ll leave
the next drive ´till it is.”
