Sunday, November 10, 2013

My New Clever Chum.

                                                                              So do remember my chum Sid?

 And how we would say jokes to each other like I would say'

" I love you Sid, but I would love you more with Gravy"

And we would laugh and laugh.

And he would say,

"Yeah Rosie and your mother was a poodle. That where you got your  curly hair from."

He was good. Great with reply, retort ,response and return. Wit .
We made great jokes.

And then he died.

I cried and cried for a minute and then I slept on it as the crying really made me tired.

And  Hoom Bruv smooged me and said things would get better.

And I said I didn't see how, so he better smooge me more and he did.

And Pater smooged me and said  it will get better and he even smooged me through the sport on the telly.

And Muv said " Rosie  Sid was great. You need to find a new chum. A different one, so Sid remains special."
So one day there, was all this yelling and hosing out the back and it seems that , what was his name?...........
OH yeah I remember!  Muv said his name was, Effing Manky Moggy. Seem he developed a taste for visiting our yard for native birds. Muv must of thought he was dirty cause she soaked him with the hose. Even when he was showing her how fast he could climb the fence she was still rinsing him off.

So I thought this could be my new witty repartee chum and I yelled out

 "Hey Manky your father was an alley cat."

And he he yelled back ,

"No he wasn't."

What a stupid cat. He didn't know how to play Witty retort. And what is worse he came back again . He must love Muv's baths. This time she gave him a rinse in our old bin that collects water. She was thorough too. Did his face and behind his ears.

And Muv in her kindest way said " If you comeback Effin Moggy I will teach you to swim in the lagoon."
Meanwhile I needed a chum.
And then it happened.  One day when I was  walking along the lagoon I saw them.

Swimming Chooks. I have never seen it before in my life.

 I yelled out , " Hey what kind of chooks are you?"

 And the big  one yelled back,  "What sort of Chihuahua are you?"

 That was a great retort,but it didn't answer my question.

That was too good a response and I know. Chooks arnt that smart, so I  yelled back,    "Are you seagulls?'

And it yelled back "Are you a poodle?'

Well I didn't know what to do after that so I spoke to Hoom Bruv. He said that was not the way to start a  a chumship. And he  gave me a talk on chum making as he is very good at it.  

So he next time I said" Hello My  name is Rosie and I am the Duchess of the Lagoon. And whom might you two be?"

And the big one yelled out "We are the  Muscovies and we have  been dumped here, but it it very lovely and everyone is very nice, but I miss my chum the bush turkey he had an acid whit and was like minded on the environment, politics and poodles ( silly things)"

AND POODLES!!! I couldn't believe. I had found a chum. And so it started.  And we have been mates ever since  He even lets me chase him so I will get fit and he will get fit.

Mrs Muscovy was really quiet especially when they found her without her head. Me and Mr Muscovy looked for it everywhere and she couldn't tell us where it was so what could we  do? .  So some really nice humans took her to a hospital where she is waiting for a transplant. But that will take forever.

Meanwhile Mr Muscovy hangs around some ducks called Felicity.  Yep every  one of them is called Felicity.
That's so he doesn't get mixed up, when he goes out with a different one.

And if you think I can do a great shake look at these.

He is the shaking master.
Next time I will tell you the great plan me and Mr Muscovy have to help keep the lagoon clean

But I have to catch up on sleep.  It is exhausting being a duchess and an author.