Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Royal wedding

Its seems there was a big wedding with a Duke and Duchess.

You would think as the Duchess of macs I would get an invite and I did , but I declined as the whole passport issue and who would I have to sit next to and blah blah blah made it a relief not to go.

However ,  as the Duchess of Macs, I need to give them some  advice.

Now I have a pedigree as long as your arm and its a good mix, which was why my dad was a champion and I  was a very expensive pup. However I was more regal and racing was so beneath me and which meant I was destined for greater things.

The Kate Duchess has a good mix of mongrel fore bearers so that should keep away congenital things like hip dysplasia and heart disease.

But the William has a lot of worries, because of the centuries of interbreeding in his family. Despite one of his ancestors being looney they kept up the interbreeding  until recently. Did you know his Nan,  the queen and her husband are cousins?

And one of his other  great great Nans started hemophilia , though the jury is still out whether it was a mutant gene or her dad didn't make her.

And lets not forget some of the bogan mixed breeds that married into the family.  I have no idea how that cattle dog snuck in.

She bred the pups.  There are serious genetic malfunctions happening there.

I hope this duchess knows that the title comes with responsibilities.  Such as doing menacing poses on the beach so other dogs behave themselves.

Watching for cats on the beach

And rabbits around the lagoon.

You have to do  surf reports,

a daily lagoon summary,

and then you have to guard the house.

See I dont think Royalty is necessarily bred and as far as I am concerned, this was the wedding of the century.

And these two  have produced an empress who can out empress queen , princess or even a lady in oppy shops and she is great at arguing.

 They made Marquess of music ( and calamity)

And a Lord of the Land ( and lads).

I hope Kate can be as good a Duchess as me.   Its not a job for everyone and I have earned my title as the Duchess of Macs and they will have to earn theirs.

In fact I just had a thought.  I think they should just get themselves a greyhound as soon as possible , otherwise it could be a disaster.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

mums sense of humour is MIA

We have a serious problem at our house.

Mum has lost her sense of humour.

And what is worse

She hasn't got the energy to look for it.

So I went and spoke to the most sensible one in the house for some help.

" Sid, mum has lost her sense of humour, have you seen it.

" No Rosie.  Where did you see it last?

"Well I know she was laughing her head off when they put you in the bunny cage, cause you couldn't visit next door as Jerry the dog was there for a sleep over and I wanted to play chasing and you wouldn't play and I barked.

"Rose that was not funny for all of us.I think you had better take her for a walk and retrace the steps to see if she has left her humour somewhere outside the house.

This is going to be a tough one.

"Mum , time for walkies and no 10 more minutes"

And after 30 minutes we were on our way.
I decided that her humour must be around things that make her happy. Now that is the easy bit as there is a lot that makes her happy.

Mr Macmasters grave and the full Creek and the paper barks make her happy.  She swears at night time a heap of ghosts go down there and have a tea party.

Sunsets on the lagoon make her happy.

And big full moons make her happy.

The ever  changing shore line of the beach makes her happy.

All the swans on the lagoon now that its full again makes her happy.

In fact all the wildlife on the lagoon makes her happy and even more

The birds that visit our yard make her happy especially the noisy Mina's as the they are belligerent and mighty fearsome.

And. her glass makes her happy.

In fact she is happy about lots of things so she cannot figure out why she has lost her sense of humour.

Even when we passed Paperbark Pete ,the guardian of the lagoon, she couldn't think of a joke  to tell him.  But that was all right as its holidays and lots of tourists are around and Pete didn't have the time to talk. he has got to watch out for the birds

When we got home mum said in between yawing,
"Well Rosie, it has me stumped.  Nothing is funny."

Then she put on her glasses and thought out loud,
"I wonder if Mouse has my humour?  I Now I remember. My humour broke!  And  Mouse is looking after it!"

And she jumped up and walked away taking to her left shoulder.

Then she came back and said  her sense of humour is broken, but its Ok as Mouse is taking care of it.  It may take a while as It was a bad break but its do-able.

Meanwhile I am just watching her as her clumsiness is tied up with her sense of humour and she is a danger to herself at the moment.

No wonder I need catch up sleep when Dad gets home.  Takes all my energy.

I know I make her the happiest and I take her for a walk every day so she is happy, so it breaks my heart to hear that her humour is broken.  But I am so glad that mouse is fixing it so it will be like new.

         OH NO! NOW I am talking about mouse like he is real! I must be tired. WOOF