Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Baldy and Peter's grand design

So you know how I told you Blady went all girly and wanted to be a mother.

And all Peter wanted to do was hang around the humans and get smooged.

Well Peter  finally got it.  As in him being a boy bird and Baldy being a girl and what the whole purpose of spring is.

But he is a bit thick on the reno front and Baldy is a bit special.

She thought Mums grandmothers antique jardinier would be a good place to set up a nest.

And Peter thought a drawer in the desk would be better.

So Mum gave in and put a nesting box in as she couldnt stand the fights.

They are now renovating and there has been more fighting than loving.

"Peeeeeeeeter! I dont like the colour,  the kitchen, the bathroom and I there is a hole in the roof."


And Peter just stands outside singing love songs , hoping it will get her in the mood. Oh boy he is thick.

She wants curtains , he wants a shed, she wants soft furnishings and he wants a theatre room and this is all before anyone has done anything towards making eggs.

But finally after a lot of hard work he got it right

And he has to spend his time singing and persuading her to be a mother. its part of cockateil love rules


And now she is being difficult because she still loves Lorrikeet Bob,

And he just sings and  sings and sings.                                        

And people whinge about barking dogs.

If this is love then I am very glad that I am desexed.

Oh and did I tell you Mum says Peter should be called lightening as he never strikes the same place twice. And thats why they havent any eggs.
I dont know what lightening has to do with it.
I just want some peace.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Mums bum

So you know how mums brain is buggered.

And she has to take a lot of pills so she doesn't end up a puddle on the floor.

 She is very upset.

Because despite lap banding.,

And walking me every day.

She has put on weight.     "Its the pills." She said

"Yes Mum"

"I looked it up they mess around with your metabolism."

"Yes Mum"

"And now I have an elephants butt"

"Well I think that's an exaggeration. Maybe a hippo's mum"

And that's when she said it. "Right we are walking faster and further and harder.  We are going up the Tudibarring track."

And I said'
"Did you say the Tudibaring track?"

"Have you seen how steep the Tudibaring track it"
And you know what she said?

She said "Yep" Just "Yep."

So I told Sid

"Hey Sid! Mum is really upset that despite all our walking and having lap banding she is putting on weight and now she is saying we are going to do the Tudibaring track every day, even though its the bloody pills"

"Did she say the Tudibaring track? She is either serious or mad!"

"Well its either the Tudibaring track or she gives up the pills and you know what happens  if  she does that."

"Take her up Tudibaring track for all of us."

"So to all of you out there is blog land, what  I am going to do with mum is for all of us.  If you see no sign of us by dark send out the hounds."

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Dino the grumpy old man

Every day me and mum go for a walk to the beach.  The first day we ever went, Dino who lives in our street, ran out of the bushes and tried to eat my face

                                           Mum belted him with the red throwing stick and he ran off.

                                                           Me and mum were both in shock!!!!!

                         But then mum got angry as she always does when someone tries to bully  her babies.

The next time we went to go for for a walk I said
"No mum. Dino will try and eat my face again."

And Mum said
"Trust me it will be OK"

And we got to Dino's and there he was. He was barking very foul barks and woofs.

And that's when mum did it.

She looked Dino in the eye and she said very calmly and slowly,

"Dino-your bad-manners -are-pissing-me-off.  Now-back-off-or I-will-job-you-on-the-nose- with-the-hard-end-of-the-ball-throwing-stick-and-you-will-cry-and-all-the-other-dogs-will-call-you-a-big-fluffy-bunny.  

And Dino said,

"You wouldn't. "

 And Mum just looked at him.

And Dino looked at mum.
And then, 

                                                                  The big bunny ran away!
                                                               I couldn't believe it. !!!!

Now all is good with the world again.
 Our walks are beautiful.

Dino still comes out barking till he sees its me and mum and then he just walks off. 

I feel a bit sad for him because he doesn't get to go on walks and stuff. And he doesn't have Mum and Dad and Clancy and Patrick and Joseph and Sid.

That's why I am the happiest greyhound at Mac masters beach and that's why they say they are the happiest humans in Macmasters beach.

                                       Except mum is a bit stressed as she has stuffed up her garage sale.
                                    So I will have to take her for a walk this after noon . We will go by                                                          the  creek. It always calms her down. 

I don't know what Mum did before she got me.

She says the same.  Lucky they found me.