Friday, September 16, 2011

Chook battles

So our Friends Mick and Flo have gone to France and they said to Dad can you mind our chooks and Dad said yes.

And its been a madhouse ever since.

This is how it is every day.

They wake up and before the last hen has finished yawning , the white one says,
"I'm the boss!"

     and biffs one of the other chooks.
Then another chooks says, 

"No I'm the boss!"

And biffs two other hens

Then they chase each other around the yard

"Hey come here! I'm the boss"


Then it starts at the nesting box.

"My turn to lay an egg"


No my turn!


And OMG if one finds a worm its war!

 'My worm!" BIFF
" No my worm " Biff

Would you beleive the worm got away?  Geez I laughed and laughed

Dawnie and Sid ignore them as they just think they are stupid.  Besides they are busy looking for  food for Dawnies imaginary babies

But then it starts at night
"I'm in the middle"


 No I'm in the middle!


Push shove OW! Push shove Ow! And it goes on and on and on until they go to sleep.!

Then we get some peace until the next day and  it starts all over again.

Finally Sid had enough and he announced to Dawnie that it was hard enough being a bunny trying to raise an imaginary family with Dawnie and since he already put up with her crazy relatives it wasn't fair that he put up with this lot. Dad said he knew how Sid felt.

And with that he went down his rabbit hole.

Now Sid and I have this love/hate relationship.  I would love to eat him and he would hate it if I did, but I could so totally see Sid's point of view. This lot were over the top.

But none of us saw what was coming.
Dawnie was furious and she yelled like a footy coach
"Right you dumb rejects from KFC.  I AM THE BOSS!!!" and with that she biffed them all.

She went through them like  cyclone

Biff biff biff biff biff

I couldn't watch. She frightened me!

And it was only when the last feather settled was there peace in the chookyard.

 Sid came out and said,
"You are the best wife a bunny could have"

And Dawnie said,
 "That's because you are the best father of my imaginary babies Sid!"

And so in peace they went about their business .

Now I know that you are all thinking that Rosie is living in a mad camp and she could be spinning a yarn.

There is also a saying that truth is stranger than fiction and no one could make up what happens at our place.

And  I wouldn't miss any of this reality for anything.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Ask Rosie

So, many of my readers have written to me asking advice. Up until now I have not given any,  but I have changed my mind.

Precious writes
" Dear Rosie how do you keep your nails so beautifully manicured?"

Dear Precious,

 WALKING is the answer. Get out of the handbag,  get down the beach and walk. The sand files the tips of the nails perfectly. If you have to go to the beautician carry on and whimper ,make sure your owner has lots of guilt,   and they will bribe you for ever.

Bogan dog asks

"Dear Rosie how do you keep you coat so glossy and beautiful?

Dear Bogan,

"Four simple rules that I swear by

1. Good food.

Swimming  in quality lagoon water

Rolling in good quality grass

And NEVER EVER have a bath.

Betsy writes in

"Dear Rosie ,
How do you deal with unwanted attention from male suitors. There is a German shepherd who just wont take no for an answer."

"Dear Betsy,

"You're kidding right?  ( must be a blind shepherd)


 Well if it does happens, they usually sneak up whilst your asleep.
I find it best to start hard.
A good growl, usually a baritone sound with the rhythm of kettle drums is good.  Keep your eyes closed . That way they think your really clever.

  The next step is too open your eyes slowly and growl and bare your teeth and that should do it.
I have this down pat as I have to do it so much

 Its similar when your out. Same growl, teeth and all that, but you must insist if they follow you that they walk a hound length behind.

Dear Rosie ,

I am really shy around she hounds.  How do I improve my social skills.?

 Dear Handsome Boy ,
I think this will take a lot longer to answer. Better call me on 04265487920
or email me at
so we can meet up.

That's the last for today.
I am going to be busy , email me your questions.  Next week if I can find the time, I will be writing about how to train your human.