Sunday, September 8, 2013

the Duchess's thoughts on the elelection

There has been a very sad event in our house
Mum has spent the day in devastation and mourning
 She blacked out the windows,

put a wreath on the door

And lucky Pater got to her before Muv hit the buy button on ebay.

Seems Gollum got to run the country and Muv and Hoom Sis and the whole family are not happy.

Now it has been emailed to me by a lot of my readers

"Duchess what are your thoughts on this"

And I thought and pondered and this is what I say.

Humans need to learn from hounds about humans.

Hounds live by their senses and their experience.

And this works very well.

So if it looks like a turd.  It is a turd
If it smells like a bum bickie, it is a bum bickie
If it sounds like caca, it is caca
If it tastes like a poo , it is poo
And if it feels like a crap it is crap.

And if is someone is polishing poop it is still poop.


And this is where hounds are even smarter

People think we sleep all day but we dont.

Because we are thinking. We ponder, we ask questions. For example

" Mum said eating the ducklings is bad.  I wonder why?"

And I find out why. Simple. Then I think about it?

We also remember from experience., And if the experience is bad then its bad no matter how much you try and pretty it up.

We don't have to believe what we hear.  We can question and think critically.  This is one of Muvs favourite dead hooms. She said he said so much cool stuff even if he had the morals of an ally cat.

Hounds are caring and compassionate creatures not just for our Hooms but for others.  We think about everyone even poodles.

So next time you have to choose someone to run your country, think like a hound because from the way I see it, thinking like a human isnt working.

So I have to go and think now as I have been awake for 30 minutes.

And Muv is feeling much better once  I showed her the blog.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

The birds cooperate...Happiness is cheap.

So where were we? That's right the birds were not cooperating with Muv after she got her new whizz bang camera. And this is not happiness. And I knew I had a problem to fix.

This is Fluffy and Muffy the Ragdoll boys who live two doors up.

They think they are cute and precious and can do what ever they want. 

One day Muv found Fluffy sitting on the fence licking his lips.

He looked at Mums gardens and said,

"Hmmm bird buffet"

And Mum said take one step in here and you will regret it,

And he did

I couldn't believe he did it.

And Muv gave him a high powered shower and a fired hose enema and said
" If,  you  or your manky brother come over into my yard I will be waiting, with a bigger one."

Funny enough they havent been back

Now this got me thinking about the bird issue ,especially since Muv has a native bird restaurant garden and protects them something fierce.

The next time I sashayed down to the beach with mum

 Every dog chum I met I told
 the story of Muv and the Ragdolls boys
 Except I said that Muv now "owns" the Ragdoll boys and they are  so scared of her they will do anything to maker her happy.

Sally was just blown away  as she always thought they were lazy entitled bits of fluff ( which they were)  I told her the ragdoll boys had heard the birds were not cooperating with Muv and her Whizz bang camera and they were getting riled up.

So I told them to spread the words amongst the birds that if they don't smile and be nice then I am sending the Ragdoll boys down and they will pull out ever feather of every maggoty unhelpful bird.

 All right so it was a stretch of the truth however it cost nothing. I didn't know what terrorism meant then.

The next day Muv went down with her Whizz bang camera

" How is this Rosie"
"Thats Good Bob  No freaking out!"                                                                          

"Sunset Silhouette Rosie?"

"Looks great girls."
Muv was looking happy

"Wings elegantly hanging out Duchess?"

"Beautiful Flossie"

"Looking fearsome Rosie as only a wagtail could!"

"Oh Bill you are making me shake with fear."

"Is muv happy?"

"Yeah she is getting there."

These stories were one of my best ideas even if a little terrorising and unethical.

The next day went down and it was all the usual .

And then Muv saw him. A  black gal ah who  wouldn't keep still and kept screeching but Muv was excited as she hadnt seen one before and people said they had and she just wanted themn to shut up so she could get photos '

And then

WE both Saw it!!!!!

 The Bird Majesty!   

It must have been
It was so beautiful and strong
And a great Hunter  
And Mum couldn't say a word except click with her camera
And it looked at me and said 

"Are you Rosie Duchess of Mac?"

And I said  "Yes your highness Magesty."

And it said

" Are you the one spreading stories about cats coming to mangle uncooperative birds?"

Well I couldnt lie. And I said

"Yes Bird Majesty, but those birds are being mean to Mum . She builds gardens and she looks after injured and sick ones and they would'nt give her one moment when she had her whiz bang camera. She likes to keep a record of every bird she sees here.".
And Bird Majesty said
"I know about the people who care. You tell the dogs to keep an eye on the humans and the birds and you keep and eye on Muv as you know she fall over a lot when she walks looking up.

   That's when I realised that this Bird majesty is good. It knows everything. Muv really is a full time job as she never looks and falls over things or in the lagoon or doesn't see the wave coming.,
And thinking about it it was a reality as Muv got the dangerous on two feet gene

And then mum saw the  Bird Majesty At first she couldn't breath and then she has the camera on swift, . She must of take a thousand photos and that's how her face stayed for hours

And so he gave her a looking over the shoulder pose

  And a looking out to see pose


A a great huntiing hovering shot and     
and a ready to plunge on the prey shot.

And then finally the most beautiful photo a Bird Majesty could give.,It was gobsmacking and Muv got a little teary 

 And as He flew off I really thought arnt we lucky that beauty and wonder and nature are free. And sometimes if you just look up its a different world all there just waiting for you.

 Mum was off her dial on happiness. She ran home uploaded all the photos and told Pater and Hoom Bruv and Povo Student hoom bruv and she skyped Hoom sis.

 I think Muv is going to be off her dial for a while now,.

But I have a nap as I have been a wake for 30 minutes and I am exhausted