Saturday, September 3, 2011

Ask Rosie



So, many of my readers have written to me asking advice. Up until now I have not given any,  but I have changed my mind.








Precious writes
" Dear Rosie how do you keep your nails so beautifully manicured?"











Dear Precious,

 WALKING is the answer. Get out of the handbag,  get down the beach and walk. The sand files the tips of the nails perfectly. If you have to go to the beautician carry on and whimper ,make sure your owner has lots of guilt,   and they will bribe you for ever.




Bogan dog asks

"Dear Rosie how do you keep you coat so glossy and beautiful?








Dear Bogan,

"Four simple rules that I swear by

1. Good food.




















Swimming  in quality lagoon water











Rolling in good quality grass



And NEVER EVER have a bath.












Betsy writes in

"Dear Rosie ,
How do you deal with unwanted attention from male suitors. There is a German shepherd who just wont take no for an answer."





"Dear Betsy,

"You're kidding right?  ( must be a blind shepherd)








        


 Well if it does happens, they usually sneak up whilst your asleep.
I find it best to start hard.
A good growl, usually a baritone sound with the rhythm of kettle drums is good.  Keep your eyes closed . That way they think your really clever.






  The next step is too open your eyes slowly and growl and bare your teeth and that should do it.
I have this down pat as I have to do it so much







 Its similar when your out. Same growl, teeth and all that, but you must insist if they follow you that they walk a hound length behind.











Dear Rosie ,

I am really shy around she hounds.  How do I improve my social skills.?










 Dear Handsome Boy ,
I think this will take a lot longer to answer. Better call me on 04265487920
or email me at macsgaragesale@hotmail.com
so we can meet up.







That's the last for today.
I am going to be busy , email me your questions.  Next week if I can find the time, I will be writing about how to train your human.                         
CYA  TTFN                     






1 comment:

  1. Dear Rosie,
    Life is wonderful with a well trained human.
    We look forward to your training suggestions.
    Ludo and Johnny Whippets.

    ReplyDelete