The Duchess is is back

 Up until 12 months ago I was writing blogs.  And then I thought "Been there done that. Move on Duchess to bigger fields."

What I didn't know was that my readers missed me and have been begging me to come back

So I have decided after my,  sabet...., sabat.....sibet.......  Oh just being away,  to come back. After all it is my duty as the Duchess to guide and share my wisdom and ask difficult questions of life.

So I get into my concentrating creative position and the next thing I hear is Muv











Saying "Oh no we cant blog now. We are going out . Where is your bling collar.?"











And I said "Where are we going?"











And she said "Just out for a car ride" And then I looked at her and she had her war paint on and she had that smile. You know that smile that says 

THE VET!!!!!!!!!!

So pretended that I had to get my collar and I hid but she found me. She is like a machine .

  "

"Rosie COME OUT OF THAT ROOM  !!!!"

 
 "No"

" Rosie come out. Its Ok ". " Rosie come out of that room.!"







                









"No . I am not going to the vet. They will stick things in my bottom and make me go to sleep and do disgusting things like clean my teeth and cut my claws!"

"Rosie come out of the room its only you yearly vaccination"

"Vaccination. Is that like a back massage?"















"Right if you dont come out I am telling everyone you played with a poodle."








                                          Once , Once I met a big white fluffy poodle and I didn't play with her cause she freaked me out.

 I gave it one last shot. " Muv I cant walk My legs wont move."

"Then you really need to see the vet if you cant move so I will get the wheel barrow and wheel you to the car."

Now when her eyes go wide and her cheeks go really red and she flairs her nostrils,  it's over and we are going.

"Hey Muvva my legs are working!"

She muttered something like a ?plucking , ducking ruckng or something miracle"







                                               
               So we get to the vets and you can see it is a   chamber of horrors  
 But  Muv really loves it there, a it smells so clean and it is so clean and all the vet people are so nice and they keep her organised. I do get that me being a Duchess and all.  Before we go in I do a wee on the grass in case I don't make it out and all the other hounds will know Rosie was here                                                                            

                                                                                   

" Rosie come away from the door"




"NO.Its the only way out and as soon as someone opens it I am gone."

"Come away from the door"
"Nuh , the last time I was here they made me sleep sewed up my foot and what was worse they cleaned my teeth and cut my toes. They are not to be trusted."










And then the vet came in and she smiled and smiled. But I wouldnt give in . She looked at every part of me including me girl bits'
Well then she gave me a back massage and told me I was lovely and then she gave me a






Needle. She gave me TWO!!!!And I refused the bribe. I am not that cheap and Oh the betrayal!

 When we got home I went into my human Bruv Joseph and told her what they did.

 He gave me some pats  and smooges and said " Oh Poor Rosie you can lay on my bed until you recover but you cant play Runescape"

 And when Muv poked her head in, I said" I am in agony with my Vacation needles" Joseph is the only one who understand
I WILL NEVER EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN"

 Keep scratching Joseph

I shall have to lay here until I heal
                                                                                   

Later I found Muv in the office and I said
"My puncture woulds are throbbing"

 

 And all Muv said was "OH Really Rosie."

 And I said"   I need to go to the chiropractor to get my spine readjusted."

 "Rosie I am getting board with the drama'"









"In fact I think she stole my girls bits .  How am I going to wee.? "

 And that's when she said it.

 "Well if that is the case I better cancel the chicken necks with the great lamb bones and the yummy left over gravy and veges, not to forget the smelly
mackerel as IT SEEMS all over for you."




And that's when I decided my humsister Clancy was right. Muv is a machine . 



















She is as cunning as a tom cat.

ALL I can advise is that when you see your MUV with that much paint on and a smile that big.  You are doomed.